Lent Series Week 2: When Forgiveness is Hard
How to actually bear with each other
My first reaction when someone hurts me or someone I love isn’t to be spiritual about it. I don’t call myself a “feisty work in progress” in my bio for nothing.
I have a strong justice meter, for one. People should behave better. They should do right, not wrong. They should be honest, and they should be who they say they are and own up to who they really are behind the scenes, even if that exposes that they are, in fact, a jerk.
But if I’m practicing my own preaching, I must then admit that not all of my anger towards people’s actions are righteous. It’s not always about God’s kind of justice that I seek.
Sometimes, I just don’t like someone’s modes and methods. Sometimes, that is because they are not mine…because I feel I am right…because their way doesn’t well serve me.
Those things are ugly to admit, but ugliness is part of being a human. Because I am a Bible teacher doesn’t not make me immune from such things — it makes me more accountable to the Bible I know more than most about what it says.
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13 NIV
Forgiveness, for instance, is hard for all of us. But if I’m looking at the Scripture, it is quite clear that is the call for us all, with few qualifiers.
To bear with someone by mandate of Colossians means to be patient with or have understanding. Google tells me that the phrase comes from the Old English word beran, which means “to carry or support,” and it’s been commonly used in English since at least the 16th century.
Patience, I admit, is not my strong suit. As I have gotten older, I have become more understanding. But “bearing” is a word that comes up more than once in the Bible as it relates to others — remember, we are to “bear one another’s burdens…” according to Galatians 6:2, which means to help each other through hard times by lightening their load — and it also adds that in so doing we “fulfill the law of Christ.”
What I’m trying to remind us, here, is that in the community of relationship, we won’t escape unselfishness.
In fact, I’m convinced that the majority of my death to self as a believer isn’t done in a straight line of obedience to Jesus, it’s dying to self in my earthly relationships with others that effects my relationship with Him.
Because whether it is in sacrificing time, resources, or my own momentary wants in order to help bear a friend’s burdens when they are in crisis…or bearing with someone by giving them the benefit of the doubt, loving them through them being a jerk or having understanding for their ways that make me react in anger…it is ultimately about my death to self to be at peace with the God I love.
And that is what I want the very most.
Is it hard to forgive someone? Of course. It often feels impossible. But remembering the sacrifice of Christ for us and His ultimate forgiveness for our sins always humbles us and paves the way.
Bearing with someone isn’t saying they were right or making what they did right. It is often simply exercising more patience for another sinner like me and you.
After all: the more we have of God, the more we recognize how much we all need to be forgiven by others.
This 2nd week of *Lent is a good time to reflect on these things.
*If you’ve never participated in Lent, it’s historically the forty days before Easter—from Ash Wednesday to Resurrection Sunday where Christians are encouraged to go deeper with God and prepare their hearts through things like prayer and fasting.
For help with this, I’ll be posting a short devotional like this one every week, and my book I Want God has 40 “fasts” to help you with your personal Lenten practice.
See you next Wednesday for Week 3. :)
*Get I Want God and the 40 Fasts HERE.
PS: For my Close Circle Community, I have a short audio devotional 5 Word Prayer for you, Lord, Please Soften My Heart, as well as a listening guide with some reflection questions to help create an even fuller experience for you. Keep reading for that access!