Our Sneaky "Acceptable" Body Shaming Habit
How we Unknowingly Objectify Ourselves
“Hating my body is like breathing to me.”
When my friend said this, it rung every bell in my head.
Women have gotten so used to hating our bodies, we don’t even know that’s what we are doing, anymore.
Now, the jokes seem normal. No one blinks when we gather at a backyard barbecue and the first thing we bring up in a circle of friends has to do with our jiggly thighs.
Someone takes a picture. No one blinks when we have to redo it 10 times because “we look 450 pounds in it,” “our turkey neck is on full display,” or “our body angle made me look crazy.”
Hating our bodies is nothing new, but it remains the universally acceptable bias.
I said something recently on a show I was interviewed for that ruffled more than a few feathers. But perhaps you’ll be willing to listen to why I draw this conclusion before you throw a tomato at the screen.
This acceptable body bias we have adopted as women is fueled by something we have long complained about men doing to us, yet if we are willing to be honest, we have to pick up the mirror and take a hard look back at our ourselves: objectification.
When we pick apart our bodies with each other, we are unknowingly objectifying them.
If you feel hesitant to agree, it might be because we generally think of objectification of women’s bodies in terms of sexuality. But that’s not what it’s simple definition is:
To degrade to the status of a mere object; to treat a person like a tool or toy, as if they had no feelings, opinions, or rights of their own
Speaking of our bodies as jiggly thighs, turkey necks, or good/bad picture poses relegates our personhood to objects without feelings. Tools for people’s approval (does she look good in that picture or bad?).
Maybe you’ve never thought of it like this. It’s always just been self-deprecating, funny conversation between you and your girls. It makes us feel better about ourselves…not alone in our struggle..in good company.
But does it?
If we didn’t know statistics like 91% of women do not love our bodies, we might think it’s just jokes. Just “how women are.”
With such high stats and stakes, I can’t help but put everything under the microscope.
What do these kinds of constant narratives do to our souls? The way we view ourselves?
Is there a better way?
What if strength in numbers became no longer rallying against ourselves to pick apart the physical parts of us.
What if we could stop accepting conversations with each other that relegated us to objects?
After all, we are whole, real, living breathing people with feelings and experiences and so much love and goodness to give.
It truly is a shame if all we can see is how big our thighs are in a picture.
And that starts with how we first talk about them with our friends.
PS: For my CCC: A sneak peek of tomorrow’s Body Show with Candace Cameron Bure with more link(s) from what I wore! Keep reading…