Where Modest is Hottest Went Wrong
Unpacking the Church's miss on I Corinthians 6:19
I have been in the Church for literal decades — in high school before the major 90’s purity culture movement, kissed dating goodbye, true love waits & wearing modesty rings until marriage.
Some might say I was one of the the lucky ones. Those in my era missed most of this, with our youth leaders avoiding even saying the s-e-x word for most of the school year.
Except, we weren’t.
In large order, on this subject, everything was just crickets. This might sound great, except little talk meant the talk we did have held great power. And that usually centered on do’s and don’ts, mostly involving body parts.
We all got the message. Don’t embarrass yourself, the Church, or your family. Control your urges. Keep it together. Deny you have desires. And please, for goodness sakes, do not show your body. After all, this was the crux of I Corinthians 6:19.
Except, it’s not.
As my thoughts are on all things body, lately, in thinking about the Church, I see a thread. Regardless of the decade, our conversations about the body to this point have been heavy on the “have to’s” and slim on the heart.
The problem is: the heart is where the transformation really takes root.
While we have done a good job of preaching to women to not show too much cleavage and advocate for no yoga pants, I’m not so sure it has resulted in personal purity amongst believers.
And though we have quoted I Corinthians 6:19-20 alot, I’m not sure that in our efforts to preach behavioral requirements, we have done a good job representing the beauty of how its truth changes our life:
“Don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought at a price. So glorify God with your body.”
For young people hearing verses like this but not having them properly explained — or to create a cut-and-dried mandate of “just behave” about them — it can present a very interesting cycle:
When you hear “your body is a temple” spoken about in a strict, rigid or harsh rule-inducing way and only in the context of modesty (or even something like gluttony) at a young age, centering the conversation largely on ideas involving behavior modification, your young brain tries to figure out what to do about what you are hearing.
You may decide to turn to behavior modification in the way you dress. You will dress modestly in order to please God. (Do something vs. become someone). But what if you fail and wear something revealing, for instance? Less clothing = rule-breaking/sin. Rule-breaking/sin = shame. Shame = avoidance of God. Avoidance of God, more sin. (the more we avoid God and growing with Him, the more susceptible to sin we become). Welcome to the cycle.
You may decide to turn to behavior modification with eating. More food = rule-breaking/sin. Rule-breaking/sin = shame. Shame = avoidance of God. OR less food= more shame…more shame = less food…whatever the cycle.
You “build” a good/bad identity on your bodily behavior. If you behave you are good. If you don’t, you are bad. You operate with this identity.
Shame begins to form as you fail to live up to what you and others feel falls short of this verse’s expectations.
(I’ve put the verse in complete context in my Bible study Body and Soul, and it deserves more than a short Substack. If you have struggled with what I mentioned above, want help explaining it to others, or just would love some proper understanding of this verse, that will help you enormously).
The truth is, our view of I Cor. 6:19-20 has simply been far too narrow, and it is obvious in the way we have misrepresented it.
It’s not that our behavior shouldn’t be one that is worthy of a body that houses a King. Quite the opposite. But rules will not inspire it.
Our personhood being the chosen place for the very spirit of God to indwell…to help us live, move and have an abundant life. To make good choices. To not need approval from others. To gain our very identity. These are the things that transform us from the inside-out about these verses.
It is the story that modest is hottest was never deep enough to tell.
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